... the only problem is that I have no idea what to say. Um. Nice weather we're having, isn't it? Oh, that's right. Sydney-siders are sick of rain, and I have no clue what the weather is like in either England or Italy. I guess that's put a dampener (boom boom - it's raining here in the boondocks, finally, and I couldn't help myself. Sorry.) on that topic.
I've been wondering about TGA on tv. I really can't see how it can compete with the original. The more I watch the original, the more I think 'nah, can't be replicated or duplicated, even in an authentic Aussie fashion'. Isn't it due to launch soon? I've forgotten, with all the excitement and success of TGA mag.
Anyway, I'll watch it, form an opinion, and then no doubt rant about how much better it would have been with the Corbster in the lineup. I am such a journo-groupie. (Not in that way, Mrs MOS, I just like his view of the world, and the way he puts it across. His view, that is. Oh dear. Maybe I'd better shut up now.)
Anyway, must fly. Today's to-do list is horrific: haircut, queue for 7 hours at the RTA to register one of my parents' trucks, deliver the newspaper to Nanna, shop for the influx of 10 year old girls (Grace's delayed sleepover/birthday party, as we were in Sydney on her birthday), pay the solicitors bill (ouch) from the legal crap that daddyo brought on, collect payment for an invoice (can you believe that this particular 'business' still pays everyone in cash? Including their staff??? Hello, Russells Stock Feeds, welcome to the new millenium - not only are there funny bits of paper called 'cheques', you pronounce it 'checks' not 'chey-kews', but you can use your computer, it's a box connected to a thing called the internet, to access your bank account and put money directly into someone elses account! Amazing, isn't it? I hope the sarcasm isn't too much), drop in the overdue DVD's & PS2 games to the video shop (why do we still call it a video shop when they don't have videotapes anymore?). Oh, and I have to fit in a few hours work at my favourite job too. At the moment we have a wicked 1950-something Dodge truck parked in the yard.
You know what I find amazing? Open the bonnet of the Dodge, and there's room to sit your butt on the panel with your legs inside the engine bay, to work on it. Open the bonnet of my car, gulp, Heidi the Hyundai, and you'd be lucky to fit a straw anywhere within the engine bay. (Not to mention the fact that you wouldn't dare sit on a panel. Hell, Dane running down a hill and slamming into the door - deliberately - dented it!) But Heidi struggles up hills (doesn't it, KT? Especially when you're racing a train), and the Dodge just powers on through.
I know the Corbster isn't a fan of old cars, but I am. They just don't make them like they used to. Sigh. I would happily swap reliable performance for general all-round coolness. The cost of replacing a tie-rod end now & then is a small price to pay for being able to cruise around in a cool old car. Don't you agree, Benny?
PS: I'll tell ya what else is cool. VB-Misser & Annemarie are converted to semi-revheads thanx to TGA mag, despite being not-very-interested-in-cars. Yay! Welcome to the club, girls. Oh, VB-M, can't you make it to Melbourne in November for the 3rd Not-Annual Un-MOS drinks? Or should that be the Inaugural Top Gear Australia drinks?
32 comments:
Ok Malibu, just this once I'm going to err on the side of caution. I'm going to agree with everything you said, even the bit about me whingeing (huh?).
You rock. Now can I call you darl?
Holy shit it worked (after re-doing my "identity" and saying I was KT but hey...details).
I liked the old cars Malibu cos they were strong. After driving an old Peugeot for years I got the Madaz, with it just rolled off the boat I parked it in the carport and went to use the back bumper (whatever its called - had poker at work again so a bit inebriated) to levitate myself high enough to pull down the roller door and the bloody plastic shit bent. Ooops.
That wasn't what I was going to post but the excitement of getting thru the posting ordeal made me forget my initial thought then had to post something.
Happy days anyhoo..
You wanted a new topic, Benny, that's where the 'stop whinging' thing came from. Although I was hanging out to get to 20 comments on the last one. Dunno about calling me darl... let me think about it. Pet.
Hey, KT, so what did Mal think of TGA? Is he a fan?
Annemarie - I need dates. I am currently, um, financially equipped to book flights to and from Melbourne, so get in quick before I blow it all on tequila and ebay!
Thats ok, M'bu. I don't really want to call you darl. It was the red wine talking. You're still right about everything though, especially old cars. Let me know when you're ready, I will send another snap of my 1970 Valiant. She's 38 years young, and still looking good.
Dates coming up, darl (if Benny won't, I will):
I'll be in Melbourne from 4.11 til 9.11 - haven't got a clue as to the area we'll be staying in, but will let you know soon!
Darn, if we can get Benny and VB Misser to join us, do you think we should rent some wacky car and invite Moster Corby to come and write about it?!
And now if you'll allow me, I'm going to wack some flies with TG-OZ-1. A toddler is never too young for a tattoo of the fabulously fotoshopped Lewis Hamilton (see my contribution yesterday on the former post)...
Okay, so that's the weekend of 8-9/11. Does that fit in with your plans, Annemarie, if we organise the 3rd UnMOS drinks/Inaugural Top Gear Australia drinks, for Saturday night, 8 November?
Kristabella? Benny? Anyone else who might like to come along? Shall I set it in concrete, ie, write it in the diary? In ink???
Does fit, will do! Lovely, flying to Tasmania on the 9th, thoroughly hungover... And I hate flying even when thoroughly sober!
But it'll be worth it, I'm absolutely convinced - I'm so looking forward to seeing you all! So yeah, make that concrete!
Bugger - can't believe I was speaking to Mal this morning and forgot to ask about the TG mag. Will make special call in the morning for opinion.
Won't bang on too much incase the window of letting me post has closed;;;
Actually, my flight is at 12.50 early afternoon on the 9th. Which means me and my fellow travellers are gonna have to be at the airport by 11.30ish, which means we'll have to start driving around 10, moderate estimate (again, no idea of location of either airport or relatives we're staying at).
Would anyone care for starting the evening with a solid dinner together? Or do Aussies start drinking at 6 p.m. anyway? Over here in Europe, 'going out' as a concept doesn't start until 10 p.m. (and that's early), which would cut my contribution to our non-annual un-MOS get-together-toknoweachother a bit, timewise, with me having to hike off not too far past midnight, depending, again, on where we're meeting and where I'm located...
Aw heck, we'll work something out!
Oh gawd I'm excited now. That's three posts tonight that's worked. Now I'm assessing what I'm drinking/drunk, what I'm wearing, whether I've pissed anyone off today, do I have my drink on the left or right of the keyboard - oh too hard. Three in one night I'm telling you tho!!!
Happy days indeed. Cant wait for November! (insert smiley..:)
Yay the 8th it is and yes AM we (ie at least me and Malibu) will be having dinner with you and as many of your cheery travellers that you may be with that you want. Or just yourself if you're trying to shake them...
Oooh loads of fun all round.! And AM you will make your flight no worries (how much sleep beforehand I dunno but that's details you'll have to deal with..)
Dah, no way, TK! (That was for rhyming, KT.) I'm travelling with my dad and his lady friend, and we'll be staying at her long-ago-schooldays-best-friend-who-had-the-great-fortune-of-being-born-in-the-fourties-so-they-could-emigrate-to-Oz-in-the-sixties-and-have-lived-there-ever-since and her husband (Malibu, major grammar mess-up here, please inform!), and so they can hang out with them during our last night in mainland Australia while I, ahem, submerge in interaction with the locals.
Okay, work is done, no more excuses to stay out of the toddlers' way anymore. Although frankly the mother-in-law who came with the package is more of a nuisance than they are (but she breaks less household items).
Just one bit of irony to finish with: Monty is looking for Australia's National Dickhead to enroll on Dickipedia and has listed a number of Real Dicks that people can vote for. Discussion Question: Do you think we should try and put him on his own list?
Enjoy the weekend, girls and boys, aunty Annie will be back soon!
Annemarie, don't worry about us starting too late... at the Inaugural UnMOS drinks, I started drinking at 12.30pm, when my train got to Sydney, and KT started at about 3, when her plane arrived (although she may, nay, probably, had a couple of wines on the plane). A solid afternoon with much beer at a pub, a bottle of wine in the motel before going to the UnMOS drinks venue, and we were well on our way to having a fabulous time long before 6pm.
I'll arrange childminding in the next couple of days, then I'll book my flights and a motel, and then the countdown will begin.
Benny? Can we expect to have you grace us with your presence?
Give Australian Dick a chance.
Yess well Annemarie I can see why you clicked on that page.
I've posted Gartho's name to his own blog, though I'm not sure if he'll posted it. . . . .
Malibu I will try to make drinks in Melbourne. Should be ok.
I too made a suggestion for the Australian Dick, nominating the (and I quote) over-sized leprechaun who has black-banned any comments from Malibu Stacey, but has not yet figured out my alter-ego (which, funnily enough, belongs to my alternative email address which - also funnily enough - if he hadn't ripped all the MOS archives offline, would be able to trace, thus enabling him to black-ban the alter-ego too).
Long sentence there... sorry. But the Corbster also seems sure that my MOS association has rendered me persona non grata at the Tele, and he's worked there - I trust his judgement. I'm strangely proud that I am such a bad influence. Insert preening here. Ha.
In the old days, every comment I made on every blog & every news story was published. And then I suspected a conspiracy when suddenly NOTHING was worthy of publication, and so I posted a couple of comments under another name, with the MOS-specific email address, that were whacked straight on the site. Fancy that, eh?
(Montymort? Oh, I wish you were reading this. You are a stupid, talentless excuse for a man. And I'll just bet the success of Top Gear Australia has you jumping up & down throwing tantrums, like the love child of Rumpelstiltskin and Dane-when-I-withdraw-Playstation-privileges-due-to-bad-behaviour.)
And I'll bet my babies that none of our leprechaun-nominations are published. Ha.
Anyway, I've had my fun and now I'm forgetting Montymort.
I drunkenly emailed the Corbster last night to formally invite him to the Inaugural Top Gear Australia drinks, but that was before I had a definite date. But he is a very busy boy, with this whole little magazine thing taking the country by storm and all, and I'd be very surprised if he could make it.
But it would be lovely if he could squeeze us in, wouldn't it? I guess KT & I are the only ones from these here parts (yes, a Wild West accent is essential there) who've actually made his acquaintance in person so far, and he is SUCH a nice boy... despite voting for the ALP.
Although. Gulp. I don't know if I'm brave enough to say this. I've realised tonight that due to parental surgery & stuff, that particular weekend may be tricky... I'm going to do my absolute best to be there, though. (I can't miss the opportunity to call Benny pet in person, while he calls me darl.)
Right. It's 1.13am. And if those 10 year old girls sleeping over tonight aren't asleep yet, I'm going to stomp in and go VERY crook! They're quiet, but last time they piled out giggling, due to a game of truth & dare combined with farting, I sternly suggested that they get back into bed and BLOODY WELL STAY THERE.
Oh, god. I can hear them talking. Sorry, must dash... have to go be a cranky mother/cranky-mother-of-their-friend.
But at least I didn't open the tequila tonight. I wanted to, but didn't. Does that get me some brownie points?
PS: new keyboards suck! I've been MOS-ing and post-MOS-ing on the same keyboard for years, and this new one is hard to get used to.
PPS or PSS, I can never remember which: I'll reply to you soon, Kristabella, I promise!
Oh, ffs - npuaemzt? What sort of a word verification thingy is that???
Oh, VB-M, while I think of it, before I go to threaten 10 year old girls with ringing their mothers to come pick them up... loved your long post on the last topic. Really wish you weren't on the other side of the world, so you could join us in November, dammit! When are you back down under next? Coz that'll have to be the 2nd Annual-ish Top Gear Australia drinks.
FFS, it's PPS. Post - post script.
Malibu, to prove your point, how 'bout a picture of you sitting your butt in the engine bay of the Dodge, or perhaps just a photo of your butt and another one of the Dodge?
That'll quell the naysayers.
Just so that we finally hit the 20-ies on this blog: I can't wait to receive the second TG issue! I'm reading the Moster's peeled penis account right now and I LOVE it (the story, I mean, the peeled penis picture brings to mind the word "bareback", and I've hung out with gays too much to neglect the colloquials).
I could seriously get hooked on this car magazine if the majority of the issues are written in the Corby/Clarkson tone of voice. Damn, they're good! (With Corbs having the edge over Clarks - he's funny EVERY single line!)
And yeah, Malibu, I agree, the biggest incentive of the 3rd non-annual (shite, was about to write anal there) (well, non-anal it would be, too, we may pray) un-MOS gettoknoweachothertogether would be meeting Benny in the flesh - all 12-kilos-short-of-110 of him!
And now I shall direct my attention to Monty's blog to really make his day. Seesya later!
Funny, my word is rather eczemic too. I wonder who thinks these letter combinations up?
Interestingly, there are no comments visible yet suggesting Monty top his own dicklist... Is it because it's Sunday? We'll give the guy until tomorrow to prove he's got enough balls (and sense of humor) to allow criticism on his blog.
It would appear that the leprechaun is indeed censoring comments. I have just lowered my dignity to subterranean level and checked the Nominate-an-Aussie-Dick blog. SURPRISE! None of our leprechaun nominations have been published.
And I'll also bet we aren't the only ones to nominate him.
Now I've got 2 songs running through my head - 'I Hate Everything About You', Ugly Kid Joe (I think), and 'Loser', Beck. Ha.
Hooray ! I'm visitor 666 !
Cheers, Benny, it couldn't have happened to a better (aka more suitable) person!
Gnash. Just waded through all four pages of that dikipedia blog because I didn't even think Eel II could be so humourless as to not include one or two people picking him. But he is! He has! It should be funny but just makes me maaaad.
Am very jealous of these un-MOS drinks (and wow Malibu, so damn prescient that you named them that....). I will be stuck on this side of the world, and even know what I am doing that night, as I have to be in Liverpool. So will raise a pint of Beatles Ale or whatever they drink up there in your honour.
Oh, tragic TG tale: have got addicted to the whole thing just as the new series ended over here. So only saw last ep, plus "best of series" ep last night. Which included the three of them building their own individual amphibious vehicles and trying to drive to France. Plus Clarkson touring BBC offices in a 1963 compact. Classic. But can't believe I now have to wait til next year for new series.
AND I haven't got the second issue.
On upside I have a good word to verify: zudrhph. That is what I say to Monty: zudrhph.
Yeah VB, I know what you've been through, I inflicted that on myself too: 4 pages of dipshit copycats and not a single one suggesting Monty's own name. Mine were: "Any 'journalist' who devotes more than 10% of his time to watching Big Brother and to writing about it too", and, when that didn't go through: "Any 'journalist' who doesn't have the balls and the sense of humor to publish comments in which he himself is nominated". Well, he's proved my point, I guess... I wonder how this guy convinced the DT editors they should let him do a funny blog; he's downright pathetic.
Hello young Annemarie, I still havn't bought that mag for you, soz, although I have time for golf again tomorrow, third round this week. Go figure!
Malibu, are you going for a threesome???? 27 comments, and we're still on this post, although it is a good 'un.
As for Monty, I sent him a message along the lines of 'total dick, complete tool', although it was edited in his sweat room.
So long as he had to read it, gasp, and reach across for the delete button, then I'm happy.
My feelings exactly, Bens, as long as he's felt annoyed even a split second as a result of our contributions, that's all we need to know! And let's face it, it's not as if we had expected him to publish our comments, is it...
Now direct your caddie cart into the fastest lane and closest sales outlet possible and git me ma maggo! I'm still reading number one and laughing out loud, so I can't wait for a copy two, knowing it'll have so much more Corby than this one!
28, 2 to go. C'mon people, we can do this!
My word starts with dbnb, which brings to mind: whatever happened to ddeebb?
Ok, I've got a trade fair, round of golf and a few errands to do tomorrow. SHould be able to find time for the newsagency and the post office too.
What's this about going for 30, though. A three-some is 100. Oh, Derr.
Gorbachov.
Benny, sometimes you worry me. A threesome is 30? Or 100? WTF???
Anyway, I'm full of the joys of spring today. Yes. I know it's still winter.
But I've done my nanna's tax return, and I've done the apprentice's too (get your mind out of the gutter y'all, I may have a toyboy thing going on, but he is 18, young enough to be my son and way too young for me). And funnily enough, without being dodging and claiming anything he shouldn't, he'll get an $800 refund. As opposed to last year, when he paid a tax agent $120 and got $300. What did he pay me, you ask? A bottle of homemade butterscotch cream alcoholic stuff... oh, it's yummy. It's like the killer eggnog you wish you could have at Christmas to drown out the whole boring family thing.
So, that's 2 major good deeds I've done today, no, hang on, it's actually 3 - Nanna's dvd player suddenly lost all audio. My mother was perplexed (but also frustrated with her mother), so I got the desperate phone call (something along the lines of 'if you don't go and fix your grandmothers DVD player, I'll throw the bloody thing out the window! I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S DONE TO IT THIS TIME!').
Insert cool, calm, collected Malibu here. Checked all the settings, mute, volume, language, etc, nope, nothing wrong there.
Are the cords connected properly to the back of the DVD player? Yes, but how about I take 'em all out and reconnect them, just to be sure. I'm gazing at DVD warily, wondering just why the hell someone (NOT ME!) bought it for Nanna for Mothers Day anyway, and what on earth could the problem be. Oh. Hang on. How about we check the connections at the back of the tv?
She'd knocked the audio plug out while viciously reefing the curtains closed, as she does.
Damn, I'm good. FIGJAM.
Are we at 30 yet? It's a record for comments anyway, even if we're not.
cduhhubd. Why do I always get the ones that are bastards to touch-type?
Yeah, good point, Annemarie. What happened to ddeebb? And Anon? I swapped a few emails with Anon, and she seemed like a pretty cool chick. But I think she has a lot on her plate on the moment with motherhood & whatnot, so maybe she's just busy. I hope they both come back.
Has anyone seen Troll 1 & Troll 2 around the Tele site lately? Eric & Bridget? God, they used to get up my nose somethin' shockin'.
I refuse to visit Montymort's swamp as a matter of principle now, but I'm delighted to hear that he is determinedly ignoring our comments nominating him. That really does please me. (I've done my good deeds for the day, now I can go back to being a nasty vindictive bitch.)
Now, I'm thinking we need some sort of funny-recognition-factor thing for Drinks (I can't keep up with the various titles I come up with). KT & I did the boring old ring-each-other-on-our-mobiles thing, but I really think this time we need something cool to recognise each other from a distance, and possibly look like lunatics to the general public. Any ideas? Other than arriving in a Ferrari.
I'd be wearing my Seriously Uncool t-shirt. If it ever bloody turned up!
31. It is officially a record.
32. This should leave even the Chinese medal hunters speechless - they'll never catch up now!
Anyway, yes, recognition. I myself have visions of walking into the pub or wherever the hell with a copy of Top Gear Australia dangling from my armpit (it HAS to involve a copy of TG) and then, while shamelessly flirting with any male substance within 2 feet distance just in case they're Benny, to sell a subscription to the bartender.
This should get us free drinks for the rest of the night (in my dreams), but it admittedly needs some finetuning in the recognition department.
My word is kagveuwn. Good. That's exactly how I feel about Monty.
We could all wear a t-shirt that says, 'I am the Stig'. Though if we get a good turnout that could get confusing.
Time to go and bother Monty again . . .
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