http://topgearaustraliamates.wordpress.com/

It's basic, I haven't had time to play around with it yet, but it's a hell of a lot easier to work with than blogger.com.

THAT'S IT!

I've had it. I have wrangled with this site for months. Most people (including our guru, the MOS-man himself) have lots of trouble posting comments.

Blogger.com sucks. I'm going to look for a better alternative. One that lets you put a paragraph break in, so you don't look like some stream-of-consciousness dipstick who doesn't draw breath.

Hmph.

WOO-HOO!

And another motorsporting Aussie kicks butt & takes names... beating the Yanks at NASCAR, no less!

From his site www.marcosambrose.com/index.asp:

09/08/2008 AMBROSE TAKES FIRST NASCAR WIN AT WATKINS GLEN

Marcos Ambrose has scored his first NASCAR win with victory in the Zippo 200 at the Watkins Glen International road course in the NASCAR Nationwide Series in New York state today.

Ambrose is the first Australian to earn a NASCAR victory and his historic feat on the 2.45-mile road course lifts him into the top 10 in the NASCAR Nationwide Series standings.

(If this paragraph break doesn't show up on the blog, after the 3rd attempt, I'm going to spit the dummy BIGTIME!)

Now, if Mark Webber would just read the article in Top Gear Australia (issue 2), and make some uncomfortable but necessary changes (ie, suck up to the teams with race-winning cars), we'd rule the world in sport-on-wheels.

(Repeat paragraph-break tantrum here.)

To hell with the Olympics. This is real sport!

My flights are booked!

Kristabella? Annemarie? And anyone else who cares...

My flights are booked. The 3rd Un-Annual Un-MOS drinks, aka the Inaugural Top Gear Australia drinks are on.


I arrive in Melbourne at 10.15am on Friday 7/11 and depart at 12.15pm on Sunday 9/11.

YAY!


Now we need to seriously decide on t-shirts. No, Annemarie, don't worry - the Stig thing isn't a joke to be played on someone who isn't Aussie born-and-bred. It's a mysterious thing, the Stig... who is it? Why is he? How did he become such a Top Gear icon?

And how the hell do you get a job as a mystery-driver anyway???

Oh, never mind all that... I'm going to Melbourne, nah nah nah nah nah nah.

Freebay Alert!

I know, it's a lousy picture, but I can't help it. I'm an office-admin goddess, not an IT goddess.

But check out page... hang on while I get the mag off the scanner and see... BLOODY VW CATALOGUE, STOP FLOPPING AROUND & GENERALLY GETTING IN THE WAY... 76.

(Insert a pause while I rip the VW catalogue out and throw it in the garbage. I do like that sticky wax stuff, though. It's like blutack without the residue. Very clever invention.)

Right. Where were we? Page 76. Freebay. And I quote, "A 1:43 scale Evo X, 'The Devil at Your Heels' DVD and a Porsche pencil/scrapbook set as a job lot this month. All funds to the Leukaemia Foundation, silent bids to topgear@acpmagazines.com.au."

Go on. Bid. I did a bit of charity stuff in Canberra, many many moons ago, and spent a day at a Christmas party for kid sufferers. And it also took the life of the son of a good friend. He was 15. It's a bloody awful disease, so this is a bloody good cause.

And I may have been told by someone who might know (whose initials might be SC) that the bids so far are underwhelming. The Leukaemia Foundation needs better support than that, don't ya think?

I'm sending my bid in now. And, let's be honest, you don't want to be outbid by a pathetic 40 year old single mother, do you? Get your moneybox, count the contents, and then bid. Now.

PS: I typed this about 3 hours ago... then KT rang. I drank more wine while talking to her, so technically any spelling/grammar mistakes are her fault. Coz I'm pissed. And utterly incapable of editing.

Official uniform?

Whaddaya reckon?

I think Benny has come up with a winner. (It's a vast improvement on his suggestion of putting moss on the table for the Inaugural Un-MOS drinks!)

Stop whinging, Benny, here's a new one...

... the only problem is that I have no idea what to say. Um. Nice weather we're having, isn't it? Oh, that's right. Sydney-siders are sick of rain, and I have no clue what the weather is like in either England or Italy. I guess that's put a dampener (boom boom - it's raining here in the boondocks, finally, and I couldn't help myself. Sorry.) on that topic.

I've been wondering about TGA on tv. I really can't see how it can compete with the original. The more I watch the original, the more I think 'nah, can't be replicated or duplicated, even in an authentic Aussie fashion'. Isn't it due to launch soon? I've forgotten, with all the excitement and success of TGA mag.

Anyway, I'll watch it, form an opinion, and then no doubt rant about how much better it would have been with the Corbster in the lineup. I am such a journo-groupie. (Not in that way, Mrs MOS, I just like his view of the world, and the way he puts it across. His view, that is. Oh dear. Maybe I'd better shut up now.)

Anyway, must fly. Today's to-do list is horrific: haircut, queue for 7 hours at the RTA to register one of my parents' trucks, deliver the newspaper to Nanna, shop for the influx of 10 year old girls (Grace's delayed sleepover/birthday party, as we were in Sydney on her birthday), pay the solicitors bill (ouch) from the legal crap that daddyo brought on, collect payment for an invoice (can you believe that this particular 'business' still pays everyone in cash? Including their staff??? Hello, Russells Stock Feeds, welcome to the new millenium - not only are there funny bits of paper called 'cheques', you pronounce it 'checks' not 'chey-kews', but you can use your computer, it's a box connected to a thing called the internet, to access your bank account and put money directly into someone elses account! Amazing, isn't it? I hope the sarcasm isn't too much), drop in the overdue DVD's & PS2 games to the video shop (why do we still call it a video shop when they don't have videotapes anymore?). Oh, and I have to fit in a few hours work at my favourite job too. At the moment we have a wicked 1950-something Dodge truck parked in the yard.

You know what I find amazing? Open the bonnet of the Dodge, and there's room to sit your butt on the panel with your legs inside the engine bay, to work on it. Open the bonnet of my car, gulp, Heidi the Hyundai, and you'd be lucky to fit a straw anywhere within the engine bay. (Not to mention the fact that you wouldn't dare sit on a panel. Hell, Dane running down a hill and slamming into the door - deliberately - dented it!) But Heidi struggles up hills (doesn't it, KT? Especially when you're racing a train), and the Dodge just powers on through.

I know the Corbster isn't a fan of old cars, but I am. They just don't make them like they used to. Sigh. I would happily swap reliable performance for general all-round coolness. The cost of replacing a tie-rod end now & then is a small price to pay for being able to cruise around in a cool old car. Don't you agree, Benny?

PS: I'll tell ya what else is cool. VB-Misser & Annemarie are converted to semi-revheads thanx to TGA mag, despite being not-very-interested-in-cars. Yay! Welcome to the club, girls. Oh, VB-M, can't you make it to Melbourne in November for the 3rd Not-Annual Un-MOS drinks? Or should that be the Inaugural Top Gear Australia drinks?

Issue 2 rocks!

I love it. 9.25 outta 10.

Page after page after page of great reading, drool-inducing pics, the Classic not Plastic features that seem written purely to make me yearn, some funny stuff (I can't WAIT to show my stepdad how to backflip a truck - think he'll let me borrow the new Iveco to try it?), and now I finally understand just what's going on with Mark Webber.

And the Repco ad (above) made me laugh. When I first turned the page, I thought,"oh, god, not a bloody anti-domestic violence ad to bring the mood down". Not that I have a problem with anti-domestic violence ads, but I was happily flipping through Issue 2 for the first time, and didn't need, um, reminders.

UPDATE: The caption is hard to read, sorry - the tear-streaked woman is thinking, "He told me I had to put on 12kg to offset the corner-balancing." And the text across the bottom of the page reads, "Good news, all you Stig wannabes - performancerepco.com.au is now online. Our sincerest condolences to your better halves." I like it.

Oh! My! God!

The title doesn't relate to anything contained within, I just thought it was catchy, and if it's good enough for the cover of issue 2 of Top Gear, then it's good enough for Malibu. (And I thought I used exclamation marks excessively!!!)

Subscriptions rock, fair dinkum. What a lovely surprise to find issue 2 in my letterbox this arvo, after a semi-nah-mostly-horrific-day. And I was informed when I subscribed that my subscription wouldn't kick in til next month.

So, while my kids are enthralled by Disney on Ice tomorrow (yaaaaaaaaawwwwwnn), I can sit with a torch and read to my hearts content. Yay!

But... hang on... where's my t-shirt???

Please God...

... if I promise to never swear again, can you help Cadel Evans win?

Please? Pretty please with sugar on top?

He seems like such a nice boy. And he came so close last year... and it would be so frustrating to have yet another drug cheat take it out.

Go on, God. Let the good guy win for once, okay?*

(* Surprisingly, a good guy has already won in another area - Dr Armellin - who delivered my daughter with the delighted cry, 'IT'S A GIRL!', and who is the obstetrician that all expectant mothers should have - has won the case brought against him by the couple who were apparently devastated because they had IVF twins, instead of just one child. Might I add these are Canberran 'professionals', who can afford to raise twins. They just didn't want to. Poor pets. I shudder to think what would have happened if the twins had been boys!)

I think I might be raising a little Malibu...

Check this out, she says with a grin.

We were watching Spicks'n'Specks tonight. Grace had just arrived home after 3 days of being a truckies offsider with her grandfather. (It was a handover thing - her brother is going tomorrow. Meanwhile, I haven't even BEEN in the new truck, Ivy the Iveco Stralia. I think I've said before that it's like the bloody space shuttle. It's automatic, FFS! But the kids do regular truckie-offsider gigs during the school holidays, they get paid $10 a day for helping to open & close the curtains & whatnot, and they love it. And I think their grandfather loves having them along, too.) Anyway, as I was saying...

The 'contestants' had to identify a piece of music played by someone who also didn't know what it was, on one of those 1970's keyboards with numbers corresponding to the keys.

'Hmm', says I. 'It's classical. It rings a bell...'

'Oh, DER,' says Grace. (Insert strong heavy male-type-singing-voice-here.) 'It's a big ad, expensive ad. It's the Carlton Draught ad!'

I felt both horribly stupid and immensely proud that my almost-10-year old daughter knows a beer ad so well.

Just don't tell DOCS, okay?

Feeling obliged, but uninspired, so here's Grapes & Drano.

... so... here we are. Halfway through the wait til issue 2. I've read issue 1 to tatters. My subscription doesn't kick in until issue 3 apparently, so I have to endure the excuse-for-customer-service at Mudgee Newsagents again next month. God help me.

Um. What else can I say... Casey Stoner won! And he rides for Duke, Duke! Does he have the potential to become the next Doohan? Discuss.

Watched Brit Top Gear tonight. LMAO at the test where they drove pieces of crap over cobblestones @ 30 miles an hour with a colander full of eggs suspended over their heads. And drove the cars FILLED WITH WATER (as in the cabin filled with water, snorkels & all) to see who got the furthest. (Or furtherest. Or longest distance from the start line. Whatever. It's been too many years since 3 Unit English, sorry.)

Oh, and didn't the handbrake-test-on-the-hill kill me. The Hamster leaping out of his car before it screamed backwards down the hill was funny. Clarkson just trying to get his car to the start line was hilarious. Not terribly environmentally-friendly, but hilarious anyway. I can understand why he rubs people the wrong way, but I like him. He'd be a great father-in-law. Or father. And I'll bet he would be a legendary grandfather. I can just imagine him turning to jelly at the sight of his grandkids, suddenly becoming all soft and pushover-ish.

Nothing else exciting to report. My baby turned 7 yesterday. Yes, the short, fat, bald one in the photo is now a tall, lean, smart-arsed primary-schooler. Sigh. He was too fat and too lazy to learn to walk, so he used to bounce on his knees to get where he wanted to go. Truly. He'd hop on his knees! He had callouses on his knees & the tops of his feet! And he used to eat dried cat food whenever I turned my back. Bugger of a kid. Insert very satisfied maternal smile here.

Okay, back on topic... when is the TGA wesbite going to be up and running?

Oh, that's something I meant to say. Had a bit of a deep & meaningful, reflective evening last night, and went back through the comments on previous posts. I'd missed a LOT! So, thanx (again) for the birthday wishes, and good to hear from ddeebb, Anon, Annemarie, and y'all. Yeah. Alright. I'll admit it... it's even nice to hear from you, Benny!

And something else has occurred to me. It's 2 years since I found MOS. It was either July or August 2006 when I first commented there. In case y'all didn't notice, I became a tad addicted very quickly. I remember getting excited when the comments hit double figures. I wish Dave of Greifswald (sp?) and Miss Pat were still around to reminisce with me. And Beer Baron. I think we were almost the only commenters back then.

And then I remember getting VERY excited when the comments started hitting triple figures. Who'd have known that lil ole MOS would have led to TGA, eh?

And for my MOS-addiction, I must thank Dakota de Brito. I first discovered news bloggers & commenting on his page. And then, after gushing all over me (after I made a joke about Rove McManus that quickly became tasteless), he had the hide & audacity to call me an attention-seeker! Can you believe it? Shy, retiring, sweet Malibu. Hmph. So I searched for another blog that would understand my innocent, gentle, ladylike ways. (I can't even type that with a straight face.) And I found MOS. And now... here we are.

Happy anniversary, MOS. Though you are now deceased, I will forever treasure the memories that you & I share. Not to mention the fabulous life-long friend and honorary god-mother to my children that I met through you.

(And I will forever thank Mr Corby for exercising restraint about immediately publishing comments that were submitted, drunkenly, late at night. Imagine if my mother had read that! EEEK!)

Late-birthday-present suggestion. (They say redheads look best in green!)

I'm sorry. I can't help myself. It's been hammered into my brain, courtesy of the Mudgee Guardian printing 'public' without the 'l', for most of my life. An ordinary garden variety typo leaps out at me. They jump off the page and poke my eyeballs and say 'see me? Now you've got no idea what you were reading, have you, because you've noticed 2 little letters that have been transposed and now you're all distracted'.

So, while I'm idly wondering what I'd bid for a bottle of Smells Like Ewen McGregor, remembering how I used to love wearing the bloke-du-jour's aftershave, the dreaded typo leapt out. And yes, poked my eyeballs.

When is the wesbite going to be up & running, anyway?

Well, hasn't it been a big week, boys & girls?

I love good car photography. I'd forgotten how much, but TGA brought it all back to me. I enjoyed the reading, too. Haven't read all of it yet, I'm doling it out to myself to make it last longer. I'm even enjoying the ads. Weird.

I'm going to give the first issue, um... 7.5 outta 10, leaning towards 8 outta 10. I'm looking forward to a bit more Aussie content, but on the whole, considering its fledgling status, I'm impressed.

Annemarie, can you please email me at zdacey@hotmail.com so I can forward your address to Ben? It could be worth your while... I hear there might be a copy of Top Gear involved. Hmm.

Oh, and thanx for the birthday wishes. My 40th rocked, and being 40 rocks, and life is pretty damned good right now. (And many thanx to KT for coming a hell of a long way to spend a drunken weekend with an old chick - surprisingly we still have 3 pubs not crossed off the pub crawl list.)

I got it! Well, 3 of them to be honest...

And there was no blood spilled at all. Though I could've slapped the idiot who served me.

Scuse me. Must go and do some reading.

Bye, Homer...

I'll miss your countdown.

Is this our first blog video? (If I can figure out how to attach it, it will be...)

I laughed out loud. Literally.

It's a conspiracy, isn't it???

I know I live out back of beyond the boondocks, but seriously... this is just plain NASTY!

WHY DOESN'T OUR NEWSAGENCY HAVE A COPY OF AUSSIE TOP GEAR? AND WHY DOESN'T THE DIPSTICK BEHIND THE COUNTER UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF 'TOP GEAR', 'AUSTRALIAN' AND EVEN 'MAGAZINE'???

I'll go back and try again after work, and it had better be in stock, or there will be spells cast, and some serious bloodflow.

Message from the Corbster, part III

I have barely had time to scratch my butt recently, I've had one day off since I started, just got back from five days in Germany, where I drank a river and ate a pig, or two, then went out of town for three days of driving and taking pictures. Mainly taking pictures, or watching someone else do so.

All this makes me wonder who is putting the magazine out. The first one was finished a week ago and it's so frustrating having to wait so long for the finished product, and to see it on sale. We're halfway through producing the next one, or we should be. Um. Yes. Hence my lack of time for blogging or reading of any kind, but I'm glad to see there's blogging going on here. Fabulous stuff. Must go, will write more exciting news soon.


Malibu says: while trying to find a picture to go with this blog (which was obviously unsuccessful), I learnt that German traffic lights give you a warning when they are about to turn green, by having the amber light up while the red is still on. Do they really? How cool is that? Gives you time to whack your manual into first gear, or in some cases safely recap your lipstick. Kinda like a Christmas tree at the drags, ain't it?

Benny took pity on me...

... and sent me a pic of his Val, with permission to publish it.

Now. I ask ya. Why would you prefer a lump of new millenium premoulded plastic to something like this? This has character. It won't disintegrate in the rain. It won't dent if you breathe on it. You can fix any breakdowns with a leather belt (proven!), a pair of pantyhose, a coathanger, a screwdriver and a hammer - no computer diagnostician needed.

(Yeah, they're not exactly fuel-efficient. I know. Go tell the Greens. Perhaps Cate Blanchett, Leonardo di Caprio and Al Gore could downgrade their mansions to average-sized family homes to offset the damage done by the few thousand Vals still on the road.)

Umm.....

... yeah, I know, I've been slack. But I'm just not inspired. I pray every day to find a car photo I can whack on here that hasn't been seen 1000 times already. I've blackbanned the Tele so can't trawl their site for nasty things to say about Montymort. The SMH site is so dull I fall asleep surfing it, and I can't bring myself to check out their car section.

I played netball on Saturday so couldn't even TYPE for most of the weekend. (Limited injuries, thanx for asking - skinned knees, grazed palms, bruised and lumpy elbow, and suspiciously sore left wrist, which is the wrist I broke last time I played netball... in 1988. But I cannot still wait for the next game this Saturday.)

And I think I'm getting that late-pregnancy feeling. It's so excitingly close, but still so frustratingly far. (No, I'm not pregnant, it's an analogy, alright? Immaculate conception has already been done. Apparently.)

This time in 2 weeks, I'll be devouring the first issue of Top Gear. Finally. I've got a big weekend coming up (netball, plus celebrating my 19th anniversary of turning 21), the following weekend I've promised Drano can have a friend over for the weekend (god help me), so I can devote the weekend after that to major anticipation of the newsagent opening on Monday morning.

Cannot. Wait.

We apologise for the break in transmission...

... but your caustic Corby Cult correspondent was on a short break in the Snowy Mountains. Some of it was great - like watching the kids toboggan for the first time, I have never laughed so hard in my life. Some of it was crap - long story there. Maybe I'll put it on my blog.


(Note to Telstra: although you are not my net supplier, how freakin' hard would it be to arrange for your pathetically slow and unreliable excuse for wireless broadband to actually work at Jindabyne? Huh???)


19 sleeps to go, eh? Hands up those who cannot wait. And, if all goes according to plan, the hangover from my 40th should be receding by the time TG is available. Assuming I live that long. And if my employers think I'm spending my days around June 30 concentrating on their tax, they had better think again.

Or...

... maybe he didn't say that, but I can believe that he would, in a whole fake-humility/modesty-type fashion. Don't ya reckon?

But now it's late enough (and I'm drunk enough) to use one of my favourite sayings: the best revenge is a fabulous life. It is my earnest belief that the Corbster is now embarking on the fabulous life part of it. He's paid his dues. Now comes his time in the sun... what's the Footloose quote? (Duke? What's the Footloose quote??? Quick!) Something about a time to sew and a time to reap and all that happy crap.

Now is Stephens time to reap what he has sown (sp? Too drunk to remember, sorry.). I firmly believe that Top Gear Australia will take off like a freakin' rocket. There is an untapped market of people who enjoy the whole revhead thing, but find most car mags too technical and boring. Surely I'm not the only chick who has a thing for cars, but doesn't need to know how many fractions of inches the cylinders need to be bored for optimum performance. (And surely I'm not the only person who is annoyed by a stock standard vehicle, with a fully sick [makes me wanna vomit] whatever-the-hell-they-call-it-mega-expensive-sound-system-these-days, mate. That is not a car. That is a stereo on wheels. Impress me with what's under the bonnet, the sound of it, the quarter-mile stats, the rumble through your feet, not with how many bloody blocks away the bass can be heard! Hmph.)

Remember Ike? Ages ago, on the dearly-departed MOS, she confessed that she isn't a revhead at all but she enjoyed watching Top Gear. This is the market, and it is ripe for the picking.

Stephen & I have disagreed about cars on MOS: I like old, unwieldy, expensive-to-maintain-and-drive cars (says she, the driver of - gulp - a Hyundai). He's not an old car fan. But y'all know how well he writes.

If there is a god, then Top Gear Australia will kick arse, take names, and break records. (Father Dave? Do you have a direct line?)

A quote from our favourite, um, quoter. Is that even a word?

"You could put all the talent I had into your left eye and still not suffer from impaired vision."

Monty

Can't argue with that, can you, boys & girls? And the pedantic side of me thinks 'hmm - the talent you HAD? So you have even less talent now? I'm surprised you remember to breathe-in and follow that up with breathe-out.'

(Not sure if the quoter wants to be identified, but if you're not new to MOS, then you know who sent this, don't you? Our king of quotes, god bless his Italian-bike-lovin' heart.)

PS: KT sat the final exam for her degree today. I suspect she's probably drunk at the moment... and so she should be. Congratulations from your fellow blog-mates, Sassy Striker.

Stephen says... (2)

Finally, I’m official:

AUSTRALIA’S THIRD WAVE OF MOTORING MEDIA LAUNCHES: TOP GEAR AUSTRALIA

Wednesday 4 June, 2008: ACP Magazines announced today that it has secured the license to publish the website of the world’s top motoring brand, Top Gear. Topgear.com will launch in Spring and will be the first English language speaking and second international version of the website, outside of the UK.

The Australian website will include news, wallpapers, features, videos and games, with approximately 30% local content. Last year, topgear.com attracted over 15 million impressions and over 1.5 million unique users each month, with 36% growth year on year.

Top Gear Australia will be at newsstands from Monday, June 30th, with the launch price of $7.95. Approximate sales targets will be in the region of 60,000 to 70,000 copies per month.

Stephen Corby was also announced today as editor of Top Gear Australia. Stephen is an acclaimed journalist, having formerly worked at The Daily Telegraph as chief - sub editor and in London at The Evening Standard, Mail on Sunday and The Mirror. More recently, he combined feature writing for The Sunday Telegraph (boo, hiss) with motoring contributions to The Australian, carsguide.com.au and MOTOR magazine.

Phil Scott, Group Publisher, Men’s & Specialist and General Manager of ACP Magazines new joint venture partnership with BBC Magazines, said: “Never before has Australia had a motoring brand that fills the gap between motoring niche and mainstream entertainment. Top Gear Australia brings passion for motorcars out of the closet and into a lifestyle experience, creating a unique proposition for advertisers and readers alike.

“The combination of the strength of the world’s top motoring brand, a compelling website, significant marketing support and an outstanding editorial line-up ensures Top Gear Australia is poised for success,” added Scott.

Top Gear Australia will be supported by a significant national above-the-line campaign and a targeted retail strategy, rolling out from June 30. The campaign includes television and outdoor advertising, in addition to a national print campaign throughout a variety of ACP Magazines Men’s Lifestyle and Motoring publications.

Top Gear Australia is the first magazine to launch under the new joint venture publishing partnership between ACP Magazines and BBC Magazines. Top Gear is already the world’s number one motoring media brand, with television audiences in more than 120 countries, and more than 20 international versions of the magazine in 40 territories.

Malibu says: Woo-hoo! Yabbadabbadoo! Yee-ha! It's finally official. But... the site doesn't launch until spring? How on earth can we wait that long? Luckily, we'll have some reading material to tide us over until then (I mean proper reading material, printed on paper with ink and all that old-fashioned stuff).

Congratulations, Stephen. "Acclaimed journalist", "outstanding editorial line-up"... I'm guessing you feel a little better now than you did this time last week.

Stephen says...

Oh, the other slight blow was that I only found out for sure that I didn't get the Top Gear TV gig a couple of days before getting sacked*.

I was actually given a screen test and interview, which means I made the final 20 in the country.

And for months they've been telling me I was still in the running and that I could potentially do both, the mag and the show.

Just gutting. Not a great week.

* Malibu says: I think 'sacked' is journo-speak for getting back-stabbed by a preschooler suffering hair-envy. Or talent envy. Take your pick.

Hey, Monty?

Message from the Corbster

Ha, you weren't expecting it. Imagine being me.

It's 3pm. A clear day. And out of that clear blue sky I'm invited to take a walk to HR (Heads Removed). I honestly thought I was going to sign some papers to do with leaving.

Then they mentioned two blog comments I'd made, something was said about "upstairs" and "not happy", and then there was a flash of silver and the feeling of cold steel in my back.

The executioner followed me back to my desk and had to stand there and watch me pack up, to make sure I didn't access the system - ie, write any kind of farewell on my blog - and then walked me out of the building, took my pass and, bizarrely, wished me all the best.

It was all surreal, and so cruel, nasty and unnecessary. I had 16 working hours left in that company, they probably could have let me work it out, and just taken the blog away. But. No.

The collection for my present was stopped and the farewell front page mockup torn up. Management called staff together and gave a speech indicating I was the devil and was probably going to burn in hell.

I can't go into details about the farewell drinks party last night, because it makes me feel ill. Still.

Shockin' photo, I know!

I've been searching for some funny/clever/unusual/bizarre car pics to put up here. But haven't found anything inspirational, so here's my lovely old Valiant.

Allegedly the longest coupe ever built in Oz. And it had the 318 Fireball, so revered by Chrysler-heads. Every time I see a Dodge Dart in an American movie, I get WAY too excited about it.

Damn, I loved this car.

It's gone! Forever! Should I sing Auld Lang Syne, or something???

So, I've just checked MOS to see if there was a final farewell, or a vicious blog, or something... and it's blank. No archives, no nothing. Someone with an agenda ripped it all offline before the body was cold (unlike when Anita Quigley left, though I see she's finally disappeared from the list of bloggers today. And who is Pops McDonald? And more importantly, WHY is Pops McDonald?).

Oh well. Hope the Corbster is getting drunk as we speak. I hope the magazine hits the stands when it's due. And I hope it kicks butt.

I've been on every news site I can find that's had a report announcing the Australian Top Gear show hosts, commenting with something like 'yeah, I'll watch it and give it a chance, but what I'm really hanging out for is the new Aussie Top Gear magazine'. Someone did once promise me a position as circulation manager. Ha.

Watch the countdown, boys & girls. I will do my dutiful, um, duty as the self-appointed MOS-reunion-organiser, and try my best to keep you updated as to the progress of Top Gear mag.

"So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye
I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye -- Goodbye." (To MOS anyway... the rest of ya ain't getting rid of me that easily.)

For your entertainment, I present...

... a post that has nothing to do with me.

I found this while I was trawling through the MOS archives earlier. And I thought it was interesting, considering where the Corbster is going, and the fact that he wrote it nearly 2 years ago. Maybe those who haven't been hanging around MOS since day 1 haven't seen it yet.

http://blogs.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/mos/index.php/dailytelegraph/comments/getting_into_top_gear1/

(Oh, dear. I've used 'I' 3 times already. My insincere apologies to the blue one, who is convinced that I'm some sort of anarchic literary terrorist, plotting to overtake the world of male blogging. Yawn.)

Beyond cute. Try utterly gorgeously cute.

Look. I have to be honest. This baby could belong to the local drug-dealer, and I'd still swoon.

Those eyes. Those eyelashes. Those cute cheeks, just begging for raspberries to be blown on them to make him giggle. He is just gorgeous, and will be a heart-breaker come pre-school, believe me. (Yes, it starts that young these days.)

If he doesn't win the Bonds thing, then it's rigged.

(I have a WHOLE lot more to say about the baby beauty pageant thing, but I'll save it for the blog.)

I want one!

Does anyone else...

... find it ironic that the oestrogen outweighs the testosterone here? (I know, Benny, it's because everyone hates me because I'm a nasty bitch & I take the bait & I'm superior & I'm self-opiniated &... yawn. Sorry, lost track of all my faults.)

And when, oh when, OH WHEN, is the official announcement of the new job? The suspense is killing his fans, are you listening, people-in-charge-of-Corby's-new-job? You should really take advantage of the enthusiasm. Don't wait for the casual readers to get bored & forget about him. Don't rely on us fanatics. Strike while the iron's hot, people-in-charge-of-Corby's-new-job.

At this rate, I'm going to be bloody 40 before it's announced! (Not that that has anything to do with anything, but it was the best I could do. Look, it's late, alright? I had a bad night last night, had nightmares about MYOB & tax & BAS, and may my boss's accountant go to South America soon and bloody well stay there. And could he please take my ex with him? That's not too much to ask, is it? Oh, hang on, this isn't my blog, this is the MOS-missers blog... right, forget all about that, just insert sounds of silence here.)

Eeeeew!

Not too fussed with the white print on dark background...

Benny, I had to do this under my pseudonym, because you have to use a current email address & I'm already registered here, it won't let me change my name for a different blog. Just getting in first before you have a hissy fit that my name comes up on the right-hand side. Okily-dokily?

So, here we are...

Thought I'd start off with something familiar, so you know you're in the right place!

Um. Well. Yep. Insert tuneless whistling here. Does anyone else hear crickets???

What's the verdict on the background? It's the blokiest one I could find. There's brazillions of girly ones (my personal blog has a pinkish abstract-butterfly thing going on), but the blokey ones are few & far between.

Happy Mothers Day to Ike (if she's still reading), Anon and ddeebb (I think you both are mums... not 100% sure, now that I think about it), and any other regulars I've forgotten. And Mrs MOS of course, and Mother-of-MOS too. And to me. (Note to self: teach Grace to stir the coffee before next May, so I don't have a mug of unsweetened coffee followed by a coffee-flavoured-syrup shot at the last mouthful.)